It went by in a flash, it’s still a blur, the tub was barely able to be filled and the doctor arrived just in time to catch my little bitty baby. The biggest, brightest eyes looked into mine and I knew I’d go through it all a million more times for her.
It was never a question for me, I was always convinced that I wanted to breastfeed. Because I had been around breastfeeding mama’s my entire life it seemed like a matter of course. Because I always assumed it was the most natural thing (and it is) I assumed that it would come naturally (it did not!)
At 1 month my little baby was still so little, too little.
She was unable to latch without a nipple shield. My nipples were cracked and bleeding and every feeding was tearful for both of us, Earth mama nipple butter was the only thing that saved me.
The first pediatrician we went to immediately said that formula was necessary and no other options were given. He didn’t take the time to see WHY she wasn’t gaining enough weight (Side note, I am NOT against formula feeding but it was not what I wanted and choose to do). I was incredibly frustrated because I felt like he wasn’t giving me a solution only something to treat the symptoms not the underlying problem. With weight gain being a concern I started pumping and giving her a bottle while still trying to get her to latch. We went to a neonatologist, once again after one look the only solution I was given, “give her formula”.
Again, I was frustrated and honestly pretty mad. I knew I was producing enough milk to feed her because of my pumping output. She was eating for an hour at a time every two hours and barely gaining any weight. What was wrong? Why weren’t the “experts” helping? I kept trying to get her to latch through excruciating pain and topping her off with pumped milk.
Finally, at my 6-week postpartum appointment, my gynecologist gave me the contact of a pediatrician who was also a lactation consultant.
I had learned the hard way that pediatricians often have very little knowledge or education about breastfeeding. That is why it is so important to find an IBCLC to assist you with breastfeeding issues and take a breastfeeding course BEFORE giving birth to know what to expect.
We made our first appointment with our pediatrician/LC and right away we were able to find the issue; a minor lip tie, disorganized suckling, and a killer case of thrush. All of these things were treatable! With daily lip stretches, suction exercises, tub-feeding breast milk, and an anti-fungal cream for the thrush. Her weight bounced back up to her birth percentile within 2 weeks.
I thought I knew what to expect because I knew people who breastfed.
I think it is important to know the good, the bad, and the painful but it’s so rarely spoken about. I didn’t even know where to find the help I needed. It’s crazy to think that something that was fixable within 2 weeks made me question my personal choice that I felt so strongly about because of a lack of education and knowledge. It’s important to realize that while yes, a fed baby is best; breast milk has so many benefits and if that is how you choose to feed your baby that should be supported. Formula isn’t the answer to every problem. Education is so important. It’s crazy that with all the information available about breast milk a pediatrician’s first advice is to stop breastfeeding. This advice to a mama who clearly said that she WANTED to breastfeed. If a mama decided to formula feed and a good option is recommended that is different.
If you are a struggling breastfeeding mama, remember that you are not alone and there is help and support. If you know a struggling mama don´t say that formula is the answer. Support her choice to breastfeed her baby, and help her find the support she needs, and if she decides to formula feed SUPPORT THAT TOO!
